


Holding Harry

by remyjemy



Series: Wolfstar Raises Harry Au (+Regulus) [5]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Angst, F/M, First War with Voldemort, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Gen, I have so many others planned, M/M, Sirius Black and Remus Lupin Raise Harry Potter, Wolfstar Raises Harry AU, i love this au sm, jily, pre jily death, pre- wolfstar raises harry au, this takes places before all the other works, wolfstar
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-30
Updated: 2020-12-30
Packaged: 2021-03-11 03:07:29
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,565
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28438119
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/remyjemy/pseuds/remyjemy
Summary: Remus holds little baby Harry for the first time, but it doesn't go as expected.
Relationships: James Potter/Lily Evans Potter, Remus Lupin & Harry Potter, Sirius Black & Remus Lupin, Sirius Black/Remus Lupin
Series: Wolfstar Raises Harry Au (+Regulus) [5]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2102250
Comments: 1
Kudos: 129





	Holding Harry

**Author's Note:**

> hello!! thank you for all the support on my other works! a regulus date part two is coming soon1 while you're at it, follow my tiktok @ remyisarat and my tumblr @ potterheadbbc (my HP blog is moonywormpadsandprongs ) that's it!! love u all

Remus was nervous.

This was the first time he would see Lily and James since Lily gave birth to Harry. Little ten day old Harry. Sirius got to meet him first after him and James apprerated into Godric’s Hollow, seeing Lily’s water was broken. Remus was off on his own mission at the time, having just got back a few days ago. He was a little sore, full moon and all, but he wanted to meet the mini Prongs, as Sirius had lovingly dubbed him. But still, Remus felt like he was going to shit his pants. He was so scared that he was going to drop Harry, or make him cry or hurt him somehow or make him sick.

Sirius noticed Remus’s nerves and touched his arm gently, “Hey… it’ll be okay. Little Harry is tough as leather.”

“But leather can still be cut.” Remus mumbled softly. He took a deep breath and shook his head, “Let’s just do this.”

Sirius nodded and walked up to the door and knocked. 

Soon enough, a tired looking James opened the door, the same wide grin on his face, “Welcome, welcome!” He stood aside to let the couple in. “You arrived just on time, Harry just woke up from a nap.”

“Tired lad you’ve got there.” Sirius smiled, hugging James.

“Oh, yeah. Takes it from his old man.”

“Old indeed.” Remus teased, hugging James after Sirius.

“Oi! You’re older than me!” James defended.

“By two weeks.” Remus grinned. “Congratulations.”

“Thanks, Moony.” James smiled. 

Sirius gasped, “Oh, there’s my favourite godson!”

“You’re only godson.” Lily smiled. She looked less tired than James. You could tell who took the night shifts. 

Remus stayed back as Sirius held the tiny Harry in his arms. Even at ten days, he had a head of hair that matched his fathers, but his eyes were a striking green. He’s got his mothers eyes. 

He couldn’t help but smile as Sirius got closer, “Wanna say hi?”

Remus looked to Lily for permission. She, of course, nodded.

Remus looked to Sirius and nodded, “Can I sit down? I don’t trust myself standing now…”

“Yeah, of course, love.” Sirius said, bringing Harry to the couch.

Remus sat down and held out his arms. He was shaking slightly.

“Just relax, Moony.” Sirius said softly as he handed Harry over.

Remus was holding Harry. And nothing bad was happening. He laughed nervously as he looked at the little boy.

James beamed proudly as he wrapped an arm around Lily.

“Oh, how sweet.” Lily cooed. “Darling, go get the camera.” She told James.

James nodded and rushed to get the camera to capture this sweet moment.

Remus just kept looking at Harry, holding him close to his chest. He couldn’t help but get a little emotional. He felt himself tear up. He never told anyone, but he’s always wanted kids. Two in fact. One boy and one girl. He’d name the girl Hope, after his mother and Sirius could name the boy. Assuming he would have kids with Sirius. If they could get married. If they could adopt. He knew they would never be able to. Sirius was scared to end up like his father and besides, it would be way too dangerous. Remus wouldn't be able to trust himself around them. And what would they do on the full moon? He shook the thoughts away and wiped away his tears.

“Hello Harry.” He whispered. “I’m your uncle Moony… nice to meet you. I’m sure we’re going to be good friends.” He smiled, heart beating fast.

Remus was pulled out of his thoughts by a flash of a camera. He looked up and saw the three others staring at him with giddy smiles. The film came out of the camera and James shook it a little, “This is going in the album.”

Remus laughed softly, “He’s amazing.”

“Innit crazy?” Lily said, coming over to sit next to Remus. The other two boys went to the kitchen to fix up dinner.

“It’s insane.” Remus agreed.

“Things can change so quickly...” She sighed. “For better or for worse.”

“Those words must be familiar.” Remus teased.

“Shove off.” Lily chuckled. “You’ll be the next one to utter those words.”

Remsu blushed, “Oh, I doubt it… marriage is the last thing on either of our minds.”

Lily nodded in understanding.

“Especially now… things have been… tense.” Remus admitted.

“How so?” Lily asked.

“The missions Dumbledore has been sending me on… they’re rough and taxing and each of them are at least a month long and… I can’t make contact with anyone during it. Especially with Sirius and… it’s been hard on him. He… he thinks I’m the spy.” Remus whispered that last part.

“Oh…” Lily said quietly.

“Yeah,” Remus nodded, “it’s been hurting our relationship.”

“Oh, Rem, I’m so sorry.” Lily said. 

“It’s whatever.” Remus shrugged. “Not really anything I can do about it.”

“Can you tell Sirius about what you do on these… missions?” Lily asked, concerned for her friend.

Remus shook his head, “Dumbledore’s orders.”

“Oh, please, fuck Dumbledore! What has he ever done for you?” Lily said.

“He gave me a second chance!” Remus said, a little too loud, causing Harry to start crying.

Remus froze in fear. He scared Harry. He was a horrible person. They’d never let him hold Harry again.

“Oh, Harry.” Lily cooed. She quickly took Harry from Remus and shushed him gently. She started rocking him, “He might be hungry. Hasn’t eaten since lunch… Ah, tell James I’ll be upstairs.”

Remus nodded and stayed on the couch. 

James came in just as Lily disappeared upstairs, “Was that Harry crying?”

Remus nodded, trying not to get upset, “I made him cry.”

“Oh, Moons…” James said sadly.

Sirius poked his head through the door, “Hey, wha-” He stopped when he saw Remus. “What did you do?” He immediately asked.

Remus felt his heart ache. Sirius didn’t trust him around Harry. 

“Hey, hey, hey, Remus didn’t do anything.” James assured.

“Lily uh… she went to feed him.” Remus said softly.

“Ah, makes sense. Hasn't eaten since lunch.” James nodded. “Well, dinner is almost ready.” He went back into the kitchen as Sirius kept staring at Remus, eyes untrusting.

Remus couldn’t meet Sirius’s eyes, feeling guilty as ever. He made Harry cry.

“What really happened?” Sirius asked.

“I got a little loud and made Harry cry…” Remus said quietly.

“Why did you get loud?” 

“Lily asked what Dumbledore had ever done for me… and I said he gave me a second chance… but it was loud. I was a little annoyed.” Remus picked at his nails.

Sirius sighed and went over to sit next to Remus, taking his hand in his, “Darling… I know Dumbledore has done a lot for you… he-he gave you Hogwarts and us and let you be the wizard you were always meant to be… but for the rest of us… he sent children to war. Children. We were just eighteen… he sent us off to die. And yes, we wanted to help, to fight… but this… sending us on missions wasn’t part of the deal.” Sirius said. “Sending you to those missions wasn’t part of the deal.”

“But what else am I good for? I can get the other werewolves on our side… I just…” Remus groaned in frustration, “I just need them to trust me…”

Sirius rubbed Remus’s back, “Oh, Moony… I see how much of a toll it takes on you… I know how much you’re hurting… I know how things have been between us…”

Remus sniffed and rubbed his eyes.

“We should run away.” Sirius said suddenly. 

“What?” Remus asked.

“We should run away. To Wales. I know you’ve always wanted to live there. Be close to your mum. We can leave in the morning and be done with all this mess, this war!” Sirius said desperately, “Please, Rem…”

Remus stared at Sirius like he was crazy, “Wh-what, no! Absolutely not! We-we have to fight, we need to make sure Voldemort is defeated! What about James and Lily and- and Harry! What about little Harry! We need to make sure he grows up safe!” He started to tear up. “No… no, I’m not gonna run away with you.”

Sirius sighed, “This war will kill you.”

“Then I would have died for a good cause.”

“Remus, do you realize how bloody insane you sound?! I can’t live without you! Remus, I love you. I need you in my life.” Sirius begged, “Please, love…” His voice broke.

Remus got up, stepping away from Sirius, “I’m sorry… I have to go…” He started for the door and left, leaving Sirius on the couch, a look of shock on his face.

Lily came back downstairs with Harry, “Alright, little baby is all full now an- Hey, where’s Remus?”

Sirius felt himself tear up and covered his face.

“Oh… oh no… of Sirius…” Lily went to Sirius’s side and used her free arm to hug him close.

Sirius couldn’t take it and just broke. He cried into Lily's arms, little Harry just staring up at his godfather with wonder.

Sirius always wondered what Harry was thinking about. Even when he grew up. Harry had a brilliant mind. Remus helped with that.

Dinner never happened that night and Sirius went home to find a drunk Remus in bed. Sirius took care of him. He always would. Always.


End file.
